momentarydoubt

The best times to kiss a girl

abraesive:

When she’s babbling on about something. When you’re arguing. When you see her. When you’re with her. When you’re with your friends. When she cries. When shes happy. When she does something you love. After you ask her out. After she says she loves you. After you just kissed her. Before you leave. My point is, whenever you get the chance to kiss her, kiss her. It makes her feel loved. 

if you kiss me when we’re arguing i will punch you straight in the fucking jaw

you-can-call-me-carl

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” 
how is this possible? 

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that